The Foundation To All Healthy Relationships

Last Sunday we kicked off our new  Church At Home series, How to get along with everyone (as much as it depends upon you)? 

It’s been really encouraging to hear some of the feedback as we explored the why and what of ‘honouring people’. Click HERE to check out the short message and do share this teaching with others to encourage them too.

But as we think about developing healthy relationships let me share with you the foundation of all healthy relationships. I wonder what you think it is?

How about humility?

Almost hidden away within the many dictionary definitions of ‘humble’ is one six-letter word – ‘modest’. To be humble is to be modest. It’s a word that’s not particularly common or fashionable today but it basically means that we’re avoiding the extremes and instead, having a reasonable, honest, healthy estimation of our abilities and worth.

To be humble means that we’re not smug or self-satisfied about who we are, but we’re also not depressed or downhearted about who we’re not. We have a right, or fair, estimation of ourselves.

We know where our strengths lie, and how we have the capacity and opportunity to do good. We’re also aware of our weaknesses and therefore, how we also have the capacity and opportunity to do harm.

Let’s be willing to approach all our relationships in this humility, with the knowledge that we are strong and weak, that we are right and wrong, that we can shine with wisdom and kindness in one moment, and then darken the doors of stupidity and spite the next. We have the joy and privilege of building people up, and the ever-present risk of blowing people up.

Here are three truths I’ve discovered.

People are fragile.
We are fragile.
We should ‘handle with care’.

To be humble means that we’re committed to keep learning and growing in our self-awareness. The better we know ourselves, the better our chances of responding rather than reacting in more difficult moments, bringing help, not hurt, into our relationships.

Being humble is the soil in which all the other healthy relationship practices can grow – and we see no more perfect example of humility than in Christ himself.

Why not take some time in the coming days to slowly, prayerfully chew over these words from Philippians 2:4-11 (taken from The Message) and let’s pray that God would help us grow in humility – for everybody’s sake!“Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, and became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.


Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honoured him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honour of God the Father.”


Huge blessings and don’t miss the next Church At Home discussion on healthy relationships when we look at the importance of encouragement. Join a group and be part of the conversation – zeochurch.com/churchathome.

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